i am second

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A needed reminder...

"In the fullness of your Grace, in the power of your Name, You lift me up, You lift me up." - Hillsong United

Learning to Cherish Life...

As I watch my grandmother's mind slowly deteriorate from Alzheimer's Disease, it shakes me. It makes me realize we're all just human. It makes me realize one day, no matter what kind of life you've lived, no matter who you were in your life, no matter how many friends/ family / money / fame/ etc. you had, you will die. And you have no idea when it will happen or what it will look like. I'm not trying to sound morbid, but it's really opening my eyes to all the useless things that we live for, that we strive to attain. It makes me realize that when we die, that's it. We have no second chance. It also humbles me in realizing that we don't know how we're going to die. It's so humbling and humiliating to watch a person who's acquired so much fame and glory die; especially when they die a dis-honoring death. It brings you back down to reality. And that's what I don't want to miss out on. Reality. I don't want to miss the point of life, that's been right in front of my face the whole time.

I miss my grandma. She's still alive but she doesn't remember me, and that's so sad. It makes you realize there truly are no favorites in this life. I have so many memories with her and it seems like just yesterday I was a kid and up on her lap. But it's all gone. I guess I took her & that time with her for granted. It makes me realize I have no idea how much time I have on this earth to spend with my mom. It makes me realize I need to learn to cherish her and everything God has given me. I realize fighting for my rights, or my pride in whatever case, robs me of experiencing the blessings of life that have been given to me. I don't want to be robbed. I want to live for the purposes of this life the way God intended it. And since everything in this world changes and fades away, I want to live for what is everlasting. I want to enjoy the blessings but fulfill the very reason for my life here on this earth, and experience what I'm meant to experience.

I don't want to be a person who misses out on what is right in front of them; whether it be blessings or even a chance to grow through hardships.
I want to seize ever opportunity that God puts before me, and walk it in His way and in His wisdom. I want to do this not just because it's good and beneficial, but I see how our lives affect each other. And I don't want to miss what's put before me because as with my grandma, though I'm thankful to have had time with her in my life, there's too much on the line to miss out on and lose, and the consequences seem to be ones that have a rippling effect.

I can see how the greatest thing truly is love. And I see how all of my nature, to the core of my being is opposite of that and opposes that.

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 2 Corinthians 13:4

God is love.

Here we go..

I can't believe it's February 2010 already, or how fast time has flown by.. I can't believe how much change has taken place; with me, with friends, with family etc. It's crazy how fast the years fly by. I've been realizing more and more why our parents always told us "enjoy it while you're still young". But I have to admit, although it is much harder (in every way),and it's new, I wouldn't trade these years for anything. I wouldn't trade coming to know God, during these years. Even though it's harder, He really is faithful. My heart burns for Him, and I know that's only by His Grace. I love watching the work He's done in me. I know who I was, and where He's brought me..I pray He continues to change me and those that I love.